Never Mind Swift Boating, Willard Romney Deserves Swift Yachting

The presidential campaign of 2004 was literally won by the swift boating of Democratic candidate John Kerry by George Bush’s Chief of Staff Karl Rove, the mastermind behind American Crossroads. He has a long history of unfairly manipulating elections on behalf of plutocrats and oligarchs. We remember the depiction of Senator John Kerry as an “elitist” who windsurfs. This was a man who earned a Bronze Star, a Silver Star and 3 Purple Hearts in Vietnam, but the Machiavellian misfits of the Bush Crime Family presented these as awards won under “fishy” circumstances. These accusations were proven baseless and false, but they put the lies out there to damage this veteran who served proudly. We all know how good old Willard dodged the draft to serve his cult on a mission in France rather than honorably serving his country like Senator Kerry. Notice this is seldom brought up? When an entire political party uses an admirable service record against a candidate, you know you’re dealing with a level of malicious malevolence that can’t be matched by normal means. It’s time to stop bringing a knife to a gunfight; given our obsession with the Second Amendment, it’s only fitting. Willard’s insanely elitist activities should be exploited as often and as much as possible because as he actually warrants criticism far more than any candidate in history. There’s actually a definition for swift yachting in Urban Dictionary, funny enough.

Willard riding “bitch” with Ann on their tandem jet ski
Senator Kerry: Karl Rove’s version of “elitist”

As you can see from these images, John Kerry was on a windsurfing board which you can purchase for roughly $800. The Romneys have a substantially costlier tandem jet ski which starts at $2,500. At least Senator Kerry was using the wind and his own muscles and not polluting the environment. Naturally, the GOP embraces the lesser of the two environmentally sound hobbies and never utters a shred of criticism over the Romney’s choice of leisure activities. But this really isn’t the extent of his “snobbery.” This entitled Mormon, who contracted a car elevator for his La Jolla mansion, who actually said, “let Detroit go bankrupt,” is being portrayed as the guy who can solve the financial woes of the average working American? That’s like saying his Mormon Mission was instrumental in the fight against Communism in Southeast Asia in the 1960’s. The fact that Karl Rove’s idiotic campaigns actually take root in this country frightens me to no end.

The real fun can be had with his wife Ann’s Dressage diversion. These folks claimed a $77,000 tax credit on this million dollar horse at the same time the average American was earning only $51,000 annually. Don’t forget to remind your right wing friends of the time he was asked what to do if you need money for an education, and his answer was to simply “borrow from your parents” (because everyone’s parents are millionaires). After all, he lived off dividends to “make ends meet” while in college, like all us regular folk. To these out of touch cultists, Summer isn’t a season, it’s a verb.

This is certainly not a candidate who can relate to the problems of the average worker or the working poor. The average low-information voting Republican is duped beyond belief. Creeping up more frequently in Vegas is the latest Palinesque bumper sticker, “I don’t believe the liberal media” on cars driven by the people who believe Willard really gets them. These Republicans have been convinced he’s the guy to help take our country back. In actuality, he’s the guy who will give our country away to the highest bidder, the most fraudulent corporation that ever was, the Mormon Church.

Irrefutable proof that his cult is run precisely like a corporation can be found in the book The Apostasy of a High Priest. This personal account, is ironically authored by Willard’s second cousin, Park Romney. Park came to the realization, one day that Mormonism was a colossal fraud and he could no longer be dishonest with his true self. The book helps you understand the lengths the church will go to catalogue and track membership while recruiting very aggressively. There is cause for concern with Willard’s faith. This is nothing like saying Kennedy was going to take orders from the Vatican. This man has sinister goals, which include replacing SCOTUS with a whole slew of Scalias: anyone who will make the rich richer and will naturally enforce a non-secular, religious agenda. His allegiance after all is to the Mormon Doctrine of Consecration, not the U.S. Constitution. This is straight from the Good Book itself, where Joseph Smith prophesied this day would come when one of the Chosen People, the Mormons, would ascend to the office of the President of the United States.

Willard is certainly not your average American, after all he’s “running for President for Pete’s sake.” He feels he’s been chosen by God to lead this country into an era of theocratic fascism. He will obviously go to great lengths to deceive the American public with lies, as we’ve seen from his dreadful ads. However, unlike the Republicans, the Democrats have so much truthful ammunition in their arsenal, swift boating this entitled megalomaniac shouldn’t be very difficult. Let’s get them with our best weapon. The TRUTH!

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